The Hidden Danger of Comparison When Buying a Home

“And he (Jesus) said to them, ‘Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” – Luke 12:15

“Keeping up with the Joneses” was first coined by a 1910s comic strip of the same name. At least, that’s what Wikipedia says (lol). Perhaps you’re too young to know what that phrase means, so maybe we try “Keeping up with the Kardashians”? Either way, the problem of comparing ourselves to our neighbors has been so prevalent it got its own idiom. We strive and strive to get a little bit bigger house, a little bit faster car, a little bit nicer phone…Truthfully, the only reason I ever cut my grass is when my neighbors cut theirs, and I don’t want to be the weird house in the neighborhood.

It can be funny when we stop to think of all the crazy things we do just to keep up with our neighbors, but rooted deep down, it’s a sin issue. Jesus warns us in Luke 12 (see above) to be “on your guard against all covetousness.” According to Merriam Webster, the definition of covet is “to feel inordinate desire for what belongs to another”. Jesus knows that, in our sinful flesh, we will desire what someone else has, and He tells us to be on guard. Like a basketball player guards the player dribbling the ball and moves his feet to keep them from getting to the basket and scoring, we too must play defense against our own sinful desire to want what someone else has been given.

At its core, coveting is simply a statement to The Lord that what He provided for us is not good enough. As if we know best and He should have given us what our neighbor has…That’s the root of covetousness. But let me pause here. I know the topic is about comparison and not covetousness. So why all this discussion on coveting? Comparing is good. When you go house shopping, and you are trying to weigh which house fits you best, that’s good comparison. But the slippery, sinful, slope of comparison is covetousness. When you push your budget a little too far so your friends will be envious of your home, you’ve slipped from comparison to covetousness. When you never choose a house because you keep waiting for the one that will be Instagram worthy instead of the one that is a perfectly good house just without the bells and whistles, maybe you’ve slipped down that slope.

Be on guard. Defend against our natural sin of longing for more than The Lord has graciously provided. I’m living this right now. My wife and I are building a home for our family and constantly going back and forth between what is necessary and what is simply pride. It’s hard. Here’s my advice – live inside Godly community. Ask your agent (who is hopefully a believer) to give you Godly counsel. Ask your elders to help you discern wisdom. Ask your small group for prayer around the decision. But above all, as Jesus warned, be on guard because our sin is trying to drive our decision making.

Exodus 20 reminds us “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” Sidenote – if your neighbor has an ox, you must live in a pretty awesome place…

Be on guard brothers and sisters.